I am not perfect but happy!
Most of us are struggling under society’s expectation to be perfect in each and every way- to look smarter, fashionable, have more wealth and make more money. Do I think that I can be happy about being perfect? My answer is “No” but still I want to be perfect in life. This thought was coming to my mind and made me realize the fact that being happy doesn’t mean to be perfect or being perfect doesn’t make me happy.
My thought is “To derive the difference between “being happy” and “being perfect”, and share my self-realization:
One should not necessarily be happy only by being perfect.
I also think it is possible to be happy without being perfect but being positive /optimistic in our thinking.
One should not necessarily be happy only by being perfect.
I also think it is possible to be happy without being perfect but being positive /optimistic in our thinking.
This thought has become a powerful mantra in my life. This is the thought which is provoking and helping me to find happiness in small things/work I do in my day to day life. I would explain it by providing a few instances.
I used to afraid to take risks and taking up new tasks, that’s because I wished to be perfect in what I did and also I was afraid that I might fail. My assumption of failing is ‘not being perfect’, ‘not being accurate in what I do’ and also I wanted to delight people by my perfection in what I do. My intentions behind work were great but my thinking process was not realistic but it was aggressive to be perfect.
People around me comment that I look great if I lose a few pounds from my current weight. Then I thought that I look perfect only if I slim down. To be really happy - I realized that I forget to be happy at the moment and dream about the future. The bottom line is I should have an optimistic approach to lose weight and still I can enjoy the process of losing weight happily without being perfect.
Most times I feel that the quest for perfection is exhausting and pressurizing, at the same time it is hard to turn off the voices that fill our heads with messages like "Never good enough" and "What will people think?"
Why and when we know that there's no such thing as perfect, on top of that most of us spend a significant amount of time and energy trying to be perfect in all sense? Is it that most of us admire perfection? In reality No – I realized that I love authenticity and I know that life is messy and imperfect. Now I feel happy about knowing the truth of life.
In the contrary, I feel that I get sucked in to being a perfectionist because I believed that perfection can protect us. Perfectionism is the trust that if I live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, I can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. At the end of the day l would like to feel worthy of love and belonging, and my perfectness is on the line when I feel like I am never ___ enough (you can fill in the blank: smart, talented, beautiful, admired, and accomplishment.
I used to think the path to becoming successful is a straight line (Perfectionist thinker). Also from the book "The Pursuit of Perfect by Tal Ben Shahar" - explained that Journey for success is a straight line. A person who is optimistic thinks the journey for success is an irregular spiral line. After self-realization, I started to think that a journey for success will take creative paths which may have ups and downs.
With my personal experience when I tried to be perfect I used to have fear of failure. The pain associated with the fear of failure is usually more intense than the pain following an actual failure.
With all these above instances, experiences and self-realization I would like to derive the differences of being happy vs. perfect in life. Among the people around me, I see a lot of them want to be perfect and forget to be happy at the moment. I checked in with them to see how they see perfection in life. I saw similar responses to how I felt being perfect in life- many of them went in to depression, wants to be defensive because wants to look good and therefore tries to appear flawless by deflecting criticism, fault finder - no matter how successful, shortcomings and imperfections conceal all accomplishments, trying to be hard themselves and rigid.
Human beings desire to be perfect is neverending; we should learn to be happy at the moment by being happy and optimistic. In my daily routine, I can see how I can be happy, I try to be creative in my task and make a lot of room to define things in my own way than being perfect. I try to work on things which make me happy and satisfied. This is possible by being happy and optimistic in life without being unrealistically perfect in life.
Why and when we know that there's no such thing as perfect, on top of that most of us spend a significant amount of time and energy trying to be perfect in all sense? Is it that most of us admire perfection? In reality No – I realized that I love authenticity and I know that life is messy and imperfect. Now I feel happy about knowing the truth of life.
In the contrary, I feel that I get sucked in to being a perfectionist because I believed that perfection can protect us. Perfectionism is the trust that if I live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, I can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. At the end of the day l would like to feel worthy of love and belonging, and my perfectness is on the line when I feel like I am never ___ enough (you can fill in the blank: smart, talented, beautiful, admired, and accomplishment.
I used to think the path to becoming successful is a straight line (Perfectionist thinker). Also from the book "The Pursuit of Perfect by Tal Ben Shahar" - explained that Journey for success is a straight line. A person who is optimistic thinks the journey for success is an irregular spiral line. After self-realization, I started to think that a journey for success will take creative paths which may have ups and downs.
With my personal experience when I tried to be perfect I used to have fear of failure. The pain associated with the fear of failure is usually more intense than the pain following an actual failure.
With all these above instances, experiences and self-realization I would like to derive the differences of being happy vs. perfect in life. Among the people around me, I see a lot of them want to be perfect and forget to be happy at the moment. I checked in with them to see how they see perfection in life. I saw similar responses to how I felt being perfect in life- many of them went in to depression, wants to be defensive because wants to look good and therefore tries to appear flawless by deflecting criticism, fault finder - no matter how successful, shortcomings and imperfections conceal all accomplishments, trying to be hard themselves and rigid.
Human beings desire to be perfect is neverending; we should learn to be happy at the moment by being happy and optimistic. In my daily routine, I can see how I can be happy, I try to be creative in my task and make a lot of room to define things in my own way than being perfect. I try to work on things which make me happy and satisfied. This is possible by being happy and optimistic in life without being unrealistically perfect in life.
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